I want to make a zoo with you.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
