when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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