What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
