Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
