if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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