I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
