Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
ttyl tear gas
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
