Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just want to make out with him forever
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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