Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
