I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
