Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
