I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
