I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
