So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
