WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
