4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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