oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
