Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
