There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
