Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
