I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
