Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
