How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
