Jerry, you need to find god
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
