i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
