It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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