I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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