After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I understand Curling. That high.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
