They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
