Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
