KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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