Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
