have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
