I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
