Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
