Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
