Betty ford says i'm here all night
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
