What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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