I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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