I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
