Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
