now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Randomize
