She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
