I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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