If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
