im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
