I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Sober January is a disaster.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
is it fun? or sober?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
