Me too!
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
how does that bad decision feel?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
