Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize