There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize