if you like me you must not know who I am
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
