Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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