That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
A bitchslap is in order.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
