We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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