I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My feet surprised me
Randomize
