why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
