Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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