Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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