My liver just broke up with me...
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Mom said you looked used
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
