BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
