He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
